Hey this is Donald with thejapanguy.com and this is Japan talk Session 2.
In our last discussion we were talking about whether or not there was a pecking order among foreigners when it comes to workplace. This was gonna be a two-part series So with the second part I wanted to see:
“Is there was a pecking order among foreigners when it comes to dating?”
Yesterday a friend of mine showed me a video about a pickup artist who went to Tokyo and just went nuts dating and said and he had so much success with Japanese women and he was talking to his “students” about it. So this guy was a Caucasian male, I’d say maybe…mid to late 20’s…I’m not sure. But just seeing this guy man, I was like “Wow! Really?…Crazy.” In some of the little video clips, he was saying that he would walk up to Japanese women, grab them by the head and do this (gesture). And then if they got upset about it, he’d just say “Pikachu” or “Pokemon.” You can just grab a girl’s head and be like … “Oo…Pikachu!” How do you not go to jail for that? I don’t understand.
But He said something in that video…you may think that somebody that’s grabbing girl’s heads and pushing them down…that would be the part that would disturb me/struck me most in this video. But actually he said something in that video that struck me a little bit more. And I wanted to show you a clip of this, please take a look.[VIDEO CLIP OF TOKYO PICKUP ARTIST]
Crazy ain’t it?!?
So in that video he said that because he was a white male that he could do anything he wanted to do and that’s part that struck me. In his mind he felt because he was a white male that he could do anything: “Just grab her!”
Sometimes I wonder, is that true? Can white men do whatever they want? I don’t think so. I don’t know if that’s the case.
But Is there a pecking order among foreigners when it comes to dating.
In this case I’m gonna say “No.” Granted I do a lot of white males who have had a lot of success here, I do.
At first it was hard for me to find dates and I couldn’t understand why. But at the same time that could be because I don’t go out to clubs or bars. That could’ve been one of the issues for me. So I spent a lot of time at home, I’m not gonna say what I was doing, umm… (GROSS) I spent a lot of time not dating, let’s put it that way. In the first 8 or 9 months I was here. But that’s because if you stay in your apartment, YOU’RE NOT GONNA FIND ANYBODY! DUH!
It was hard for me to find a place to actually go to date people. If you don’t go to clubs or bars in Japan, where do you go to meet people in Japan?
But once I got to know my students, it was easier to find people, or going to the gym, when I found out there are other places I could go to meet people…that’s when things started to change a bit.
If you don’t drink, smoke, or go to bars, it’s gonna be harder, naturally.
The reason I can’t say there’s a pecking order for dating is because every woman is going to be a little bit different. There are Japanese women who do not wanna date black men. Maybe they had a bad experience or something, I don’t know.
Or maybe they go to Roppongi and they see the…somebody who lives here and knows what I’m talking about… You’ve gone to Roppongi and you see that dude, the brown or black-skinned trying to get people to come to their club or their bar. You know what I’m taking about. Looks kinda shady, looks kinda seedy, that kinda dude, standing out in Roppongi.
And I think sometimes people associate all black people with that. I’m not doing that. You know?
But, maybe in people’s minds…some Japanese women don’t wanna date black men. There are also Japanese women who don’t want to do white men. It’s personal preference. I don’t necessarily think there’s a pecking order. But I could be wrong. That’s why I wanted to open it up to you guys, and see what you think. So in today’s short session. I would like you to tell me:
Do you think there is a pecking order among foreigners when it comes to dating?
Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!
Is it more beneficial to be white? black? Hispanic? Korean? Is there a benefit to being a different color when you’re dating here in Japan. Please let me know what you think and we’ll talk in the next session. Bye 🙂
Donald Ash is an Atlanta, Georgia-born, American expat who has been living in a Japanese time warp for the last eleven years. While in that time warp, he discovered that he absolutely loves writing, blogging, and sharing. Donald is the creator of thejapanguy.com blog. Wanna know more about this guy? Check out his "What's Your Story" page.