Can Embracing Japanese Culture Make You Forget Your Own? (Part 1)

By Donnie | Articles

Kiyomizudera, Kyoto, Japan.

Being transplanted into Japanese society, adhering to Japanese customs and being able to hold your own, thousands of miles away from family and hometown friends is sometimes no small feat. My sincerest kudos to all of those teachers, businessmen, entertainers, and other expats who do it everyday.

When I talk about those times that aren’t easy, you know what I mean, right? There are those days when you step on the train, or walk into a room, and feel like the freak show division of the Japanese culture circus…all eyes are on you. Or maybe there are those days you feel like a mute, because you literally just can’t get the Japanese words out that you want to say. Sometimes that stuff can be a bit frustrating, but it’s all a part of the fun!!

If you’re on your way to Japan, PLEASE DO NOT WORRY! By and large, living in Japan has been pretty rosy, with only the occasional thorn (at least that’s what my experience has been anyway). Of course the ease with which a person makes the transition to a new society is dependent on a slew of factors ranging from the country that they’ve chosen to live in, to their social prowess, to how they respond to external pressures in general.

I wrote the article “When in Japan, Do as the Japanese Do,” because I really feel like if you’ve you’ve made that ballsy, gutsy move to actually live in Japan long-term, then adapting & embracing what’s around you can greatly ease that living abroad transition. I feel that being open-minded enough to accept another country’s traditions and way of life is the mark of a truly globally-minded person.

But for today, forget all that. Let’s examine the flip side of this shall we? Can embracing Japanese culture be, in any way, detrimental to foreigners? Can you embrace so much of the Japanese culture and Japanese customs that you lose sight of your own? I say that you absolutely can.

Culture shock and reverse culture shock are some of the terms you hear when people experience discomfort with a foreign way of life (culture shock). After having lived abroad for a while, returning to your hometown and it’s customs (ones that you used to be familiar with) can also shock you (reverse culture shock).

The fact that reverse culture shock even exists, shows that something can happen to your mind after having been abroad for a while. It doesn’t necessarily effect everybody, but it does hit some people pretty hard.

I don’t know whether or not it’s culture shock, but when I went home after two years of being here, I was surprised how much bigger people were in America (weight and height), I was also shocked at how big serving sizes were at restaurants, the differences in customer service at my local grocery store, among other things. But for me, these things make good ole Georgia what it is…my home.

But what about those people who culture shock had a huge effect on? The ones that don’t want to go back home. In what ways might a person forget their own culture after having been immersed in a foreign one? There are a number of ways it could happen. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I think mannerisms, tastes in food, tastes in the opposite sex, music, and even language are some of the things that people can forget while they’re here.


After having been here for a while, I realize that I have started picking up a lot of the Japanese mannerisms. For example, when I went home, had to stop myself from doing the “Unnh, unnh…” nod when people are talking. My sister Erica (who had also lived in Japan) said that she could tell I had been living in Japan by the way I responding to her. I didn’t realize I was doing anything different.

In America, when someone talks, I’m used to just listening, and agreeing when there’s a question or something. In Japan, though, people listen a whole lot more actively, nodding and agreeing far more often during a conversation. It’s cultural difference that I am aware of when I’m in either place.

The other thing I’ve become quite accustomed to is bowing. In Japan, bowing is a sign of respect and I do it often. But in America if I’m bowing all the time, it can send a different message altogether, maybe one of subservience.

Your Palate
Honestly, for me, I don’t think this one will ever change. I love Japanese food, but nothing on this planet is going to keep me from loving Mom’s home-cooked meals or desserts. The Japanese foods and American foods I like aren’t mutually exclusive…I will go back to the U.S. and down all the slices of Papa John’s pizza and molasses cookies that I can stomach. Other foreigner’s I’ve talked to are very similar in this regard. Many don’t forget the hometown foods they love because they’ve been in Japan. If anything, the cravings become stronger. But for some, I guess it’s possible, maybe if your hometown’s food sucks.

Tastes in the Opposite Sex

Whoa…this one is kind of strange because I have always been pretty open minded when it comes to dating…always, before I ever set foot in Japan. I have seen women from just about every race who I’ve found attractive: black, white, hispanic, asian, green (if they existed), etc.. I don’t think my tastes have changed all that much, but I have more of an attraction after having been here a while. But that doesn’t mean if I go home and see a hour-glassy, hot woman with cocoa skin, full lips and a beautiful brown eyes, that I’m not going to notice.

I have actually heard several foreigners say that they had become so enamored with Japanese women that they when they went home, they didn’t feel as attracted to women in their respective hometowns. Is it because Japanese women are more slender on the whole? Is it because the whole submissive rumor true (I don’t think so, but that’s another post altogether)? Hmm…I wonder. There are definitely quite a few foreigners who find their their Japanese love here, settle down, make families, and decide to make Japan their permanent home.

For any women reading this, what’s been your experience with the opposite sex here in Japan? Don’t worry you can be as honest as you like (feel free to use the comments section).


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  • Alana says:

    My table manners are the worst! Elbows and slurping. I find my mannerisms have completely changed as well. I also nod and ‘unh unh’. I also bow/nod at people. Also, I am awesome at gesturing. I’ve got a gesture fore EVERYTHING.

    • Donald Ash says:

      Ha ha ha! Spoken like a true teacher. Most people who teach English in Japan become human gesture machines. Do you find yourself using more gestures when you go back home?

  • Derrick says:

    Green women! Hahahahaha….silly dude!

  • khazie says:

    I love japan… much more with their anime..
    i wanted to go there… maybe someday.. when i grow up 🙂

    • Donald Ash says:

      Anime is what got me interested in Japanese culture, too. I know what you mean. It’s really a cool place see when you get a chance. I hope you get to go!

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