Tales from Japan: It Ain’t No Fun

Hey guys, it’s time for another one of my tales from Japan. Enjoy!

Hey guys, this is Donald with thejapanguy.com and the name of today’s tale is “It Ain’t No Fun.”

Have you ever been to an establishment in Japan where the music that’s playing over the speakers just doet match the stetting whatsoever. A store or a gym, you just hear something that doesn’t quite match up. Well I know I have, so here’s my little story…

I used to work out at a little gym called ACT out in Ibaraki, out in Tsukuba.
This gym was located right across from a hospital, so the vast majority of the members are elderly.

I’d say the average age of somebody working out there was maybe about 102.
Okay not actually 102, but I’d literally say it was over 50, maybe even over 55, that was average.

I joined the gym because it was cheap, which is quite rare in Japan (for a gym to be cheap). It had sufficient equipment, not great equipment, but it was good enough.

I was in there getting my pump on like “Uh, uh, oh, oh, oh…one, two, three”

And I slow down because I hear a tune that I recognize:
“Boo doo doo doo, ba doo doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo.

Are they playing “It Ain’t No Fun” in here?!? Over the loudspeakers?! Nah.

So I go back to lifting, and sure enough I hear Nate Dogg and Snoop come on. Yeah, they’re playing “It Ain’t No Fun” in a gym full of elderly people.

The Japanese people are walking around the gym like nothing’s happening.
Just on the treadmills, just doing their thing.

I go back to lifting.

So I go to the bench press this time and I wait for a second.
I’m like “Wait?! Are they gonna play the explicit version of this song in here?! Nah!”

So I get to my bench press. So I’m lifting and I hear the verse:

“I had respect for ya ladayyy
Now I take it all back
Cuz you gave me all your pu**y.
And you even licked my ball$.”

And I’m sitting there trying to push the weight.
You almost killed me!

Nate Dogg, did you just say PU**Y in a gym full of elderly people?
Nate Dogg, did you just say lick my ball$ in a gym full of elderly people?

I couldn’t believe it. So I just sat there, I couldn’t even lift for a little bit because I was so busy laughing.

They played every swear word you could possibly imagine. The whole song.
Nothing was bleeped out, nothing was censored, nothing was stopped. The full, explicit version of “It Ain’t No Fun” in a gym full of elderly people. PRICELESS.

It was one of those moments where I wish I had a sibling there or somebody who could appreciate how funny this was. I would have been on the floor if somebody else had been there. But I was the only foreigner there that day, unfortunately. But, ah, it was great.

How about you? Have you had any situations like that where you walked into some store or something and you hear something over the speakers that doesn’t quite match up.

I’d LOVE to hear it. So please leave your story in the comments section below.
I’ll talk to you soon guys.

This is Donald with thejapanguy.com,


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  • Derrick Ash

    Dude, I had to stop studying and post this comment. When I read your post, I actually was rolling like I was right there with you in that gym. I can just see eldery Japanese men (maybe ones named Marvin, lmfao!) with thinned out George Jefferson hair cuts bopping along the treadmill as they hear what they believe is normal “hip” gym music.
    My example happened this morning 11:13am EST. I called my auto insurance company to ask about my account. While I was waiting, I heard George Kranz’s “Din Da Da, Doe Doe Doe.” You know the song from “Breakin”. However, they tried to be sneaky about the shit, and play just the instrumental (without the chorus). I said, “Naw! Man, I know what you guys are playing. LOLOL!” They must have run out of elevator music, hahahaha.

    • Donald Ash

      Derrick!! Man if you had been in the gym that day, the laughs would’ve been going for many years later. Ahhhh, Ash family inside jokes, they NEVER get old. That’s why I wish you were here dude! It would be freakin’ hilarious.

      Hahahahaahha! Nice one, bro! Gotta love when they sneak stuff like that in.
      “Duh duh dweh! duh duh doh!”

      Your brother,

      Donald “I think I hear yo mama callin’ you” Ash

    • thejapanguy

      Derrick, did you say George Jefferson haircuts? Why did completely miss that?!? You are silly lil bro!

      If Din Da Da comes on, we probably can’t be in the same gym together. All of a sudden we’d have to go all Turbo and Ozone and everybody (I’d have to be Ozone of course, because I can’t move like you!)

  • Matt

    This is the best thing ever. I wish I could have been in that gym. I’m praying for situations like this when I visit Japan. Just too bad you didn’t get it on video…

  • Matthew Wallace

    I was in Uruguay last week at a crêpe café when they started playing some very explicit and loud american hip hop. I think they were trying to be nice and play music we were familiar with, but it was just way off!
    So terribly funny, at least I was with my dad so he could appreciate it too!

  • Shara

    On a trip to South Korea about 3 summers back, my friend and I were walking down a street in a popular shopping district, and as we walked into a cute, very girly, accessories store, I hear Eminem’s Lose Yourself. I think at that point I would have felt more comfortable with the K-Pop! I heard plenty of Beyonce in the shopping district that summer, too.

  • Bee

    Ok. This seriously made me laugh out loud. Things like that happen to me a lot here in South Korea. I’m actually looking to move to Japan in the next few months. Your blog has been very helpful to me. Thanks.

    • Donald Ash

      THANKS, BEE! I’m really glad to hear it’s been helpful :D

    • thejapanguy

      You gotta fill me in on some of the funny English stories from South Korea, I’m sure you’ve got plenty. I’m glad my blog has been useful to you. My pleasure Bee!

  • Moogiechan

    I heard the F-bomb in a song at a conbini once. T-shirts and aprons also sometimes have things that let you know the wearer has no idea…or is wearing it so ironically that Williamsburg should collectively do a full on, forehead to the ground, I-am-not-worthy prostration-bow.

    • thejapanguy

      Yep, those random F-bombs at professional establishments ALWAYS get me. Professional staff, professional service, F-bombs. What more could a guy ask for?

      • Moogiechan

        I wonder if any staff at these places ever notice that foreigners react to certain songs. “Hey Taro, you ever notice how whenever this song comes on, any random foreigner stops what they’re doing, looks around and looks really confused?” “Yeah, like that guy right there. What’s up with that?”

  • Kanagawa Kyary

    I was in Baby Shoop in Shibuya 109 last Christmas day. They were pumping music so loud I thought my head would explode. And it was hardcore rap! “N-word this, F-word that, die N-word, die, P***y this and c**t that”. I stopped dead in my tracks, everyone else was oblivious to the lyrics and were moving to the music. Be-bopping to “c**t”!! Ahhhhhhhh Japan.

    • thejapanguy

      Bwahahaha! It’s great ain’t it? Those moments that stop you dead in your tracks like that are simply the best! Thanks for sharing, Kyary :)

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