Exhausted! That’s how I’m feeling today. It’s really been one of the busiest weeks I’ve had in while:
Monday wasn’t that bad, it was just the ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) meeting after work. Tuesday…what I thought was just going to be just a teacher observation, ending up being an observation by some of the high-ranking members of the Board of Education. ZOINKS! The observation ended up going pretty well, but I stayed up pretty late to prepare for it and the other classes I would have on Tuesday. Wednesday I had to meet and discuss plans for the ALT Asobo (遊ぼう, あそぼう) or “Play Time with the ALTs” event that I have to do on Saturday (it was a short meeting). Thursday is always my heaviest class load (this week Tuesday was just as heavy though).
Friday, doesn’t seem so bad, but I may have to miss work again, because I need to go to a doctor during regular hours to see someone who can actually help me and stop wasting money. I went to the Tsukuba Medical Center and after the doctor couldn’t figure out what was causing my pain (surprise, surprise) he set up an appointment for me to come in during regular business hours, so they could do more testing. That’s all fine and good, but I didn’t need to pay 5000 yen just to hear that!! If I miss work, it’s going to be another unpaid day, and another 11,000 yen out of my check. June’s check is going to look pretty bad, and then July and August are the months where ALTs only get 60% of their pay because of the summer vacation. I’m starting to get pretty antsy here.
I’m also a little bummed because I didn’t get the Sony job that I wanted. I figured that I didn’t get it but that doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed. Deep down there was this little glimmer of hope, this part of me that thought that maybe just maybe I might get it and be able to put myself on path that would finally help me to change my station in life. I work hard to be a good teacher, but I don’t really have much to show for it on the financially, and the way I’m doing things, I never will. I really enjoy what I’m doing, but I hate those feelings of lack. “Am I going to have enough to make it through the month?” “Do I have enough money to go to the doctor?” “No, I can’t go home this year…it’s too expensive.” I’ve only done two jobs, but it’s been a long time (over a year) since I landed my last modeling gig. I would love to do more jobs, but it’s hard to say when the jobs will come, or if I’ll make it through the auditions. In the mean time I HAVE to find another way…
I’ve been averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night lately, because I stay up trying to figure out a plan to do better than this. Something’s gotta give.
I think I need to get some sleep now.
See you tomorrow,
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