Donald vs. Niousama, the Japanese Guardian

Ah, Enoshima, what a wonderful way to spend a summer day. Nice company, a nice breeze, ramune, and views that could literally take your breath away. No, I’m serious, get too close to the edge of that rocky cliff, and you’ll probably stop breathing after the fall. Anyway, this is just lovely, there are these little hidden paths and cool statues if you look hard enough. Check out this cool おじぞうさま (Ojizousama) statue, it looks so serene, so peaceful.

Whoa, now look at this one! This Niousama (仁王) statue is the total opposite, it looks like this statue is anger personified and boy is he ugly!!

I wonder what this guardian’s so mad about anyway? Bwahahah, with a face like that, I don’t have to worry about anything coming to get me! Maybe I’ll take evil spirits over this guy, they’d be a bit better looking. Seriously, Niousama, fix your face!

Okay, that’s enough, this statues is making my stomach turn…and I just finished eating.

Let’s head to the beach and walk around a little…

That’s what I’m talking about, the waves sloshing and splashing against that might rocks on the shore, it’s one of my favorite sounds. Wait minute…what’s that’s shaking? An earthquake? Aww, not now, I*m in my happy place. Hold up…what’s that red figure off in the distance. Is it a car? Because it’s moving hella fast! DONALD WATCH OUT!!

Donald dropped to the floor, narrowly dodging a mighty, massive, bright red fist that surely would have removed his very head from his shoulders. The wind generated by the force of this punch, whisked beach sand in Donald’s face, as he squinted…looking up from beach shore. Standing directly in front of him was Niousama, brow furrowed, chest heaving, fists tensed…enraged. The mighty guardian raised his mighty leg with a grunt stomping to squash the bug of a man before him. Rolling as quickly as his body would allow him, the young man managed to escape the brunt of the blow. Nevertheless, the kick to the stomach that followed was so hard that it nearly brought Donald to his feet, tasting the sickening, blood-soaked aftertaste of the rice and fish that he had for lunch.

Generally he didn’t ever like using his karate powers in public, but Niousama left him no choice. Donald tapped the chi-release point at the base of his chest and exhaled once, to force one of three potential bursts of ki energy into the muscles of his stomach, which a had been torn by Nio-sama’ vicious kick. He closed his eyes, clenched both fists and curled his toes. This ensured that his last two bursts of ki would be trapped in his hands and feet. He exhaled twice more releasing the two final shots of ki. Now fully engorged with energy, Donald’s fists and hands began to glow a searing, bright white. His eyes snapped open, eyes ablaze…a side effect of the energy flowing through his body. He charged the Japanese guardian, his body acting completely on its own.

Jabs, uppercuts, ridge hands, spinning back fists, axe-kicks, and spinning heel kicks… with every connecting technique the air cracked around them. The guardian raised his thick, red arms to shield himself from the blows, but to no avail. By the time Donald’s ki bursts had faded. Niousama lay on the ground behind him, both of the guardian’s arms broken while trying to block the barrage.

Wiping the blood from my mouth, I turned and looked down at at the Japanese guardian and shrieked “What the hell is your problem?!?” He looked up at me and in a husky, thick voice he responded “You insulted me.” “I’m sorry!” I replied. In a puff of smoke the guardian was gone. I ran back to the spot where I had seen the statue, and there he was, posted…like nothing had happened. I dropped to my knees…mouth agape in disbelief.

So to all you Japan Guy readers out there, when you visit shrines in Japan make sure you don’t go around insulting guardians, you could pay the ultimate price. Be especially careful of the Kiyosama the has their mouths closed. According to one of the teachers at work, these guardians have some association with death, while the ones with open mouths have a link to birth or life.

Watch out for those guardian statues.

Donald Ash

The following two tabs change content below.
  • -giggles- They are pretty intimidating looking (the red kami). I’d much rather curl up and meditate with おじぞうさま. But seriously Donald-kun! Good thing you only got reprimanded!

    • Donald Ash

      Right!? I’m just glad it was only that kick to the stomach. I’ll be on my guard next time.

  • Zach

    I recently went to Enoshima and it was beautiful! I loved your blog. I am a studying abroad student blogging for an American university and I wish my blog had your flair and excitement. Keep up the good work!

Read previous post:
The Japanese Science Wizard

I was sitting in the teacher’s lounge* preparing for my the following day’s lesson, when the school science teacher came...